No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
