More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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