Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
