Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
