I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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