The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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