some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
