they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
