Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
