Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
don't judge my taste in strippers
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
