Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize