My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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