this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
