So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
