umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
