Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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