Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
