The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
