Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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