Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
