He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
