Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
