Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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