i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
