Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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