defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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