You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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