I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It's blow job season.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
