I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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