Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

we just fucked in the mcds parking lot

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

wasnt he a virgin

(732): View more from New Jersey

yes we got celebratory milkshakes after

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(435): View more from Utah

i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY

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(518): View more from New York

Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.

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(912): View more from Georgia

But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.

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(682): View more from Texas

You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.

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(917): View more from New York City

Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early

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(423): View more from Tennessee

You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.

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