FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
