just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
