I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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