If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
