I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
even my farts smell like vagina
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
