It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
