Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
