Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
