I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
