Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
