She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
