drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
