shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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