I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
