dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
