I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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