she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
