Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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