..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
