My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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